The Positive Impact Youtube channel @Dad, How Do I? is Having on Young Men’s Mental Health by Amy Grubb
CW: the discussion of absent fathers, the impact of toxic masculinity and men’s mental health, mention of suicide.
Approximately 1 million children in the UK are currently growing up without a father figure in their lives. The impact of growing up without a father figure, the impact on mental health and psychological effects that the absence will have on a child, and the impact of a young boy having to become a “man” of the family regardless of the age deters their mental health. Some of the effects of an absent father create a child’s diminished self-concept and compromised physical and emotional security, although due to the stigma surrounding men’s mental health, the impact can be much greater as they don’t have either a support system or the opportunity to express themselves.
Youtube channels such as @Dad, How do I? helps young men and individuals by positively impacting their lives and allowing them to learn all the skills they were robbed of when growing up. The @Dad, How do I? The Youtube channel was created by a father who raised two kids and aims to provide useful skills every child deserves to know and master. The channel includes videos such as how-to’s, story times and dad chats, all for young individuals to help shape the growing individual.
The impact of having no father figure
When a child grows up in a fatherless home, it can affect the child’s psyche early on, by altering the structure of the brain chemistry as well as having deep rooted trauma and fears alongside the absence. When the child is male, there tends to be an expectation instilled into the child that they are now responsible for the household as well as the other individuals within the house. The absence of a father within a household can have detrimental effects. According to statistics, children who grew up without fathers are more likely to have behavior problems, such as more difficulties with social adjustment, with problems in friendships.
It’s also documented that fatherless children have a poor academic performance with 71 percent of high school dropouts being fatherless. Fatherless children have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on mathematics, reading, and thinking skills. Children are more likely to skip school, to be excluded, and likely to leave school at 16. A child from a fatherless home is also more likely to have committed a violent crime or youth crime, making 85 percent of youths in prison having an absent father. The increase for teen pregnancies and drug and alcohol abuse is also higher in a fatherless home. Homelessness is a huge problem as well, especially with 90 percent of runaway children having an absent father and 70 percent of men experiencing homelessness. (2018 Point-in-Time PiT)
The impact toxic masculinity has on young men’s mental health
From a young age, harmful phrases are distilled into young boys' brains such as “man up”, “toughen up”, and “suck it up” when approached with challenges disallowing the child to properly express themselves when dealing with mental health. The emotional suppression is then also supported through certain adverts, literature and social media which the child might view, further drilling in the idea that expressing their feelings and worries isn’t allowed due to different societal rules.
These children then feel anger or rage when wanting to express their emotions as that then becomes the only acceptable masculine emotion they can have. Anxiety can also heavily develop within a child as boys aren't allowed to properly express their emotions or manage their feelings. Toxic masculinity opposes mental and physical health treatment even when struggling or injured, causing more harm than good for not only the individual but the people surrounding them. Suppressing mental health issues such as depression, trauma, and anxiety can worsen over time causing isolation, loss of friends or jobs and sometimes suicide.
The importance of @Dad, How do I?
Rob Kenney, the creator of @Dad, How do I? creates videos for younger individuals with advice on things such as; How to tie a tie, iron a shirt, change your car oil and unclog a sink or drain, all of which are stereotypical male skills. This allows children and young adults who grew up in a fatherless home to learn how to master these skills. Rob’s father walked out on his family of 8 kids when he was stepping into his teenage years, causing his mother to fall into alcoholism after failing to cope with the stress. At 14 years old Rob was taken in by his 23 year old brother and his wife to live in a tiny mobile home. Rob promised himself that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes his parents did, which then allowed him to have a positive impact on many individuals worldwide who are growing up or grew up without a father.
The importance of this YouTube channel allows boys and young men, as well as other individuals to feel heard and cared for.
Written by Amy Grubb
Instagram
This article was written in association with Mindless Mag. By partnering with the social change platform Guy Cry Club CIC could connect with their network of global storytellers who then produced a series of articles exploring masculinity, mental health and creativity. Find out more about Mindless Mag and the brilliant work they do below.
