Change The Way You View Masculinity by Philippa Clay
Photo by Anastasia Kolchina: pexels.com
What is Masculinity?
Masculinity is a great source of self-deprecation and anxiety. The positioning of masculinity in society has long created hurt and turmoil for men throughout history. Do these men feel able to open up about this hurt? Of course not! Beliefs that many people in our society carry say that in doing this they appear less masculine, which in itself is something that society suggests men need to uphold. Statistics show that 40% of men have never talked about negative feelings they are experiencing, 29% of them feel embarrassed to do so, and 20% state that the stigma around doing so inhibits them. So, what is masculinity and why does it have such a detrimental effect on men’s mental health?
Gender identity is a social performance. It is something we put on subconsciously by doing certain things that society has deemed masculine or feminine or neither. This is done through the way we dress, the way we present our personalities, and even the words we use. Masculinity is one that can come in multiple forms and can be expressed by anyone. However, the ‘traditional’, toxic version of masculinity is one that creates an unrealistic standard that sustains deeply damaging ideals. First, let’s picture a person whose identity is masculine, and everything about them is at the highest standard of the masculinity we have all been taught to understand. With this person in mind, answer some of these questions for me:
Are they physically weak?
Are they fearful?
Are they scared to fight?
Do they express their emotions?
Do they share their emotions with others?
If your answer was ‘no’ to all of them... this is hegemonic masculinity, also known as toxic masculinity.
What Are The Damages of Masculinity?
Now let’s break down these ideas; firstly, the idea that to be masculine means to be physically strong and able to carry and lift heavy things. This particularly plays into the idea of difficult and tiring manual labour traditionally being what people viewed as ‘real men’s work’, as explained in this 2017 book chapter by Nixon about working-class men in post-industrial Britain. This was then used against men to provide a social prestige ranking upon them based on how physically strong they were and if they could be classed as said ‘real man’. Secondly, the idea that masculinity is to be fearless and brave, and always ready to fight back if they are ever pushed around or if someone needs defending. This puts a lot of pressure on men to fight and defend, what if they just want to enjoy themselves and stay out of trouble? Lastly, this is an important one; being expected to not show vulnerability and emotions, and this being viewed as a weakness. We’ve seen the statistics that men are less likely to open up to someone about their emotions, but what can this mean?
Keeping in mind all of the attributes that society has deemed as acceptably masculine, they sound like the makings of a very unhappy person. The pressure for men to feel as though they must live up to this hurtful version of masculinity in order to gain respect within society is extremely damaging. It’s also problematic for those that don’t fit this description and therefore are made to feel as though they are ‘less of a man’. Additionally, masculinity isn’t just something that is performed by men, all genders can express masculinity in various ways. The idea that the masculinity they may be expressing isn’t quite up to the ‘societal standard’ could also be very detrimental to their self-esteem. Conforming to these traditional ideals is an outdated notion that some still very much follow. We need to change the way we view masculinity to encompass the more fluid and dynamic masculinities that we see reflected within our present society.
What Can Be Done to Help?
A prevalent issue relates to the links between masculinity and masking emotions. Men are less likely to not only speak to someone close to them about their negative feelings but less likely to seek out professional help for their mental health. As well as this, three times as many men die by suicide than women. This is a pressing issue in the UK as there were over 4,000 male suicides in 2021. Too many people lost their sons, their friends,and partners; too many people lost their lives. Changing the way men feel about their masculinity and their ability to express emotion is vital to help those that are struggling with their mental health.
Research shows that engaging in creative and artistic activities can be beneficial to mental health by reducing stress, anxiety and depression. It also helps create a sense of community if these activities are done with others and can help create connections and friendships to reduce the risk of isolation. Guy Cry Club is a platform that gives people the opportunity to express their complex relationships with masculinity through the medium of art and provides a dialogue in which the topic of damaging masculine ideals can be addressed. In a 2017 journal article published by Mackenzie et al found that men feel more comfortable expressing themselves in a way that counteracts this traditional sense of masculinity, once relationships have been established. However, for some, it can be easier to put their thoughts and feelings out there in an artistic way, to alleviate the stress of speaking about them. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be artistic, you will likely benefit from expressing yourself through one of many artistic ways. Alternatively, simply observing what others have produced might well resonate with you and help you see that you are not alone.
Come and be part of the conversation and learn more at Guy Cry Club CIC.
Written by Phillipa Clay
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This article was written in association with Mindless Mag. By partnering with the social change platform Guy Cry Club CIC could connect with their network of global storytellers who then produced a series of articles exploring masculinity, mental health and creativity. Find out more about Mindless Mag and the brilliant work they do below.
